Furu Anime Panikku

Like how Kuroyanagi has melodramatic reactions to bread, we too have reactions to anime. Kuroyanagi’s level however, is far out of a regular anime fan’s reach, so we can only settle for the basics.

The mandatory hawt Tsukino picture that comes with every Yakitate Japan related post

Kuroyangi’s reacto-meter has only 2 drastic ends. Either the bread tastes godlike, or crap.

Anime on the other hand, should be categorized into 3 different reaction levels. Or at least I think it should.

Level 1: WTFSUXXOR

This is the lowest level ever. An anime to only attain such a pathetic standard must be 110% crap, or at least somewhere close to that. Watching anime of this grade is equivalent to eating bread that looks like crap AND tastes like crap. It’s the type which you would hate yourself for being such an idiot and wasting your precious life on such worthless entertainment. Correction, anime of this level isn’t even fit to be remotely classified as entertainment. Rather, it’s more like mindfucking torture.

Fortunately, I have yet to encounter such horror, hence I have no examples to list. Or at least I think so.

Avoid like the plague at all costs. You have better stuff to squander your life on, and chomping on crap isn’t on that list.

Possible Reactions :

Horrible nightmares that haunt you for as long as you walk on the surface of the Earth.

Total Boycott of that certain anime.

Trashing your head against the steel wall.

Level 2: Cookiecutter

This makes up the majority of anime. Watching this is perfectly fine. In fact, you should be watching this, or you be suffering from anime malnutrition. This grade of anime is something like normal bread you buy from the bakery or supermart; simple and plain, sometimes having a unique flavour or two. You would probably consume such anime like how you consume bread on a daily basis (if your diet consists mainly of bread as your carbohydrate source)

As this level forms the base of the anime diet pyramid, there are simply too many uncountable series to name.

You may like some, you may hate some. Similar to bread, I may hate coconut bread, but there might be many others out there who absolutely love it.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying this standard of anime. It’s just like how everyone sees eating bread from the supermarket as a common affair.

Possible Reactions :

A rather satisfied look, if that anime suits your taste. The anime’s might level up, depending on you.
Else, you would think it sucks and banish it to the hellish pits of Level 1, followed by some Level 1 reactions.

Level 3 : Zenith ( I have seen THE LIGHT !!!)

This category relies a huge deal on personal preference. Many, or should I say, majority of the anime in this grouping originate from the former level. What draws the line between Level 2 and Level 3 is the viewer. One otaku’s favourite anime might be another’s regular anime, or worse, anime rated at Level 1.

It’s for you and your discerning taste to decide what attains this level and what remains at Level 2.

Enjoy your Zenith. You should, or at least every anime fan should, for Zenith-standard anime beckons the fanboy/fangirl within you squeal in delight, and ignites the fiery passion of wanting a never ending source of it, be it through a new season, fan art, or merchandise.

For me, my zenith would be Evangelion. Not exactly the best anime out there. The character designs lose a whole world war against current day bishoujo characters. The mechas aren’t exactly the best looking thing ever. Still, there’s this ineffable special link. Something that words simply are unable to describe.

I’m sure you have that very special anime too.

Possible Reactions :

You go on a deranged fanboy/fangirl conversion spree, brainwashing those around you into similar maniacs. Think of it as how zombies create more zombies, just that there’s a absence of blood and gore. Or maybe there is…

You have vivid dreams of the anime.

You starve, spending all of your allowance and more on merchandise. Food only comes into the picture just before you pass out of hunger.

I have listed the 3 levels of anime, but there’s only the framework but no filling. Maybe you would like to help out by adding more reactions, and listing some anime in the 3 layers that you consider outstanding to you, in their own way.