Furu Anime Panikku

Recently, I rediscovered how GAR Shinji is. If the Shinji that came to your mind is Ikari Shinji from Evangelion, you are sadly mistaken. He’s the wimpy Shinji. The GAR Shinji I mention is Mimura Shinji from Battle Royale. I’m pretty sure the BR Shinji must be ashamed to have the same name another wuss has.

Although a male post image header is a taboo, there’s no other choice in this case.

Before we begin, please note that I will refer to the characters by their surname to avoid any confusion.

First, we shall take a look at what could possibly happen to Ikari Shinji if he ever gets thrown into the situation of the Program. There are many ways the Program could turn out for him, but here’s my take on what has the highest probability of occurring.

After Ikari gets his bag, he runs off to hide in a corner, spending the first day cowering in a corner of the island chanting “Nigecha dame da”. I’m amazed at how his chanting speeds up without him stuttering over the words.

If he is lucky and survives on to the second day, he would meet a wounded, unconscious or even dead female classmate of his and get his act on. With the widespread danger zones, there would bound to be some wandering soul who would catch him red handed and end his pathetic whiny life. If he is still that lucky, and survives on to the final day, he would end up slaughtered by Kiriyama. Kiriyama leaves no one alive.

The only GAR picture of Shinji I have

Shinj’s kill count at the end of the Program? Zero. Or maybe one, when he decides to commit sucide after having pleasured himself sexually.

Alright, enough of all the pathetic boy. Let’s see how real men kick ass.

If Mimura Shinji was a pilot of Evangelion Unit 01, Nerv would not have had such a hard time against the Angels. Also, against the 11th Angel, Ireul, Mimura could have worked alongside Akagi Ritsuko, helping to hack the virus and reprogram it to self-destruct. With his leet hacking skills, he would prove to be a great help, unlike the other Shinji. It’s a pity that his bomb making skills would be wasted as the Angels are immune to N2 bombs, what more against homemade bombs.

Despite this, Mimura has quick reflexes and an bright mind, so his piloting and combat techniques would far surpass that of Ikari’s. Even in the End of Evangelion, Mimura would play a useful role of holding of the hostile forces instead of crying in a corner.

However, no matter how awesome Mimura is, there would be a problem. Ikari was the main character of Evangelion for a reason. The Human Instrumentality Project. Evangelion just wouldn’t be the same without it. The project could only be realised because he was mentally and emotionally weak. However, with Mimura taking over Ikari’s role, this project woul not be able to take place, unless someone else like Asuka, who is equally weak minded fits the criteria.

A Plugsuit Crossover… What if Nagato was an Eva pilot?

I guess this shall be an end to my wishful thinking. Still, I find that it would be rather interesting to see how a favourite character of mine swaps roles with a character who holds a rank in the Top 5 of my hate list. Then again, Ikari Shinji might be demoted from the hate list soon. I’ll have to wait for the release of Evangelion 2.0 before I make my decision. In the meantime, he maintains his status.