Guys and girls, I think I’ve just found the best book ever. Everyone needs to read this.
Here’s a brief run-through of some of the kickass content within this awesome publication. Content that’s powerful enough to blow up even the strongest of minds.
Chapter 1 : An Introduction to the Art of Kowtowing
Take your first step into the world of Kowtowing. Ever wondered what Kowtowing could be used for? Well, you’ll know now! For example, you can use it to get signatures of celebrities! Splendid!
Chapter 2: Preparation
What you’ll need to bring for your Kowtow mission: Expensive looking DSLR and laptop that only needs to look expensive; A huge-ass water bottle for hydration in case you dehydrate while camping for a Kowtow chance; Giant backpack for +100 to your Otaku aura; Anime posters to add drama to your Kowtow. The list goes on!
Chapter 3: Embarking on the Mission
If you thought preparation was tough, wait till you practice the Art of Kowtowing. Beware of the guards, they are your natural enemy. Camp in a sneaky corner while waiting for your chance to creep beyond the patrol area. After which comes your next enemy, the manager of the celebrity. Approach him and any other guards with caution and stun them for a few seconds with your earth-shaking shocking Kowtow.
Chapter 4: Execution of THE KOWTOW
Here comes the toughest part. Holding your Kowtow. Those dastardly fiends will be using brute force against you, but no fear! If you’ve done the preparation stated in Chapter 2, you should be able to outwit and outlast them. Threaten them with your precious technological weapons. “If you screw up my expensive camera or laptop, you’re going to PAY!!!” works well. Either way, budge not an inch while you stay there, rooted in your Kowtow post. Not even the the heavens can move your determination of MANLY STEEL!
Chapter 5: Reaping the rewards
Now, stay there root and laugh deep down within while the helpless guards have no choice but to issue you some pity. You’ll probably get what you came for. Now thank them in Moonspeak while you rise from your Kowtow, and stroll away proudly with your phat loot, along with bragging rights among fellow otakus. You can now laugh at your foolish fellow men for not heeding your advice and threading the Path of The Kowtow.
Final Chapter: Afterthoughts
The Art of Kowtowing can be applied in many ways. You just need to use your endless creativity and imagination. Try adapting this ancient method in the various aspects of your life, and you will be surprised at the results! Know no shame, and may the Kowtow be with you!
That’s the preview we have for now. If you get your copy this instant, you’ll get a limited edition Kowtow poster. While stocks last.
P.S. This post was inspired by this awe-inspiring guy, with the photo graciously stolen from here. Do I need to Kowtow for stealing the image?
Useful for future job applications and marriage proposals.
The names I can think of now for games in series that should come out for Kowtow. Gaming companies should begin making them.
Left To Kowtow
Metal Kowtow Solid
KowtowCalibur
Supreme Kowtow Commander
Romance of the Three Kowtows
Kowtow to the West
Little Big Kowtow
Need for Kowtow
Virtua Kowtow
Guilty Kowtow
Also, where do I get one again?
Market it, Sell it, PROFIT!
Of course, there’s always the “dummies guide” option too.
Step 1: Locate up-and-coming celebrity.
Step 2: KOWTOW BEFORE HER!!!
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit!!!
You should sell it! Then MAKE IT MAKE MONEY!
Unfortunately, I prefer read “Kowtow: For Dummies”.
darn it, more skills to learn!!?
being an otaku sure is tough. every few months we have to upgrade our skills!
Kowtow in 24 hrs…or less if you really want to master this art.
Lol..
You are way too funny. How the hell do you come up with stuff like that?! XD
this is like… epic…. did you do this on a high?
I see that everyone’s enjoying this.
Of course we enjoy, don’t play the guy who is surprised because you already know that we like when you write shit like that ^^
ROFLmao…
I spent 30 mins laughing about this…
it even inspired me to do a fumoffu fanfiction about Sousuke who takes the ‘art of KowTow’ which is a parody/joke obivious…and makes it seriously. And achieves a autograph in extreme KowTown measures..
rofl…
omg this was hilarious, thank you..this made my week…
ROFL…
Sir, you have won the internet
oh wow. you sir are insane. (i mean that in a good way).
Panther: moar vidya gaems-
Gears of Kowtow
Kowtow 20k: Dawn of Worship
Call of Kowtow: Modern Worship
World in Kowtow
Command & Kowtow 3
Ace Kowtow 6: Fires of Worship
As the only furry among Weeaboo’s…
What the H is Kowtowing? :O
And, if you put something up on StumbleUpon… at least give SOME explanation what you’re talking about, plz.